Sharing is caring? In this case, no. He's mine.

Lee Taemin

My Legal Husband

I'm hurting, do you know that?

I planned on writing about how much I hate you right now. I hate the way you make me want you so badly. I hate that you have time to talk to your friends, tweet to them and change your bbm status but you have no time to say hi to me. I hate how perfect you look all the time. I hate how all the girls in your class can look at your face everyday and they can even talk to you, laugh with you, sit with you or even be in a group with you for the school's assignment. Something that I won't ever get the chance to. Most of all, I just hate that you're not mine.

I waited for your text, or should I say bbm every night. I sleep late every night with hopes that you might remembered me for a second and say goodnight. Do you know that I made a profile for my phone where my phone only rings when someone bbm me? Then I probably has 30% chance that it could be you, well Could be. Most of the time is people broadcasting dumb things at me and getting my hopes up. We used to talk to each other everyday and every night. What happen? Did I say something wrong? Did I offended you? I read our previous messages everyday and I keep trying to find if I screwed up with something.

But when I think about it, you never actually cared about me. You were just being the friendly you and being nice. You never cared when I'm sad, or mad or anything. You're only there when I'm happy, when I'm in a good mood. Despite all that, I still love you? I don't know how long my heart can take this pain, I just don't.

New life, New love.

MBM

It was hard to move on actually. I mean, really really hard. Constantly waiting for a text from him saying he wants to come back, seeing his photos everywhere, going to places we both had a lot of memories together etc. It wasn't easy for me, although I have to stay strong. The past is in the past and I don't plan on staying because I guess I could say I found someone, better.

I can't really tell you his name because it's still a top secret. Although no one knows about this blog, I still need to keep it private, just for safe keeping. One of the thing I like most about this new guy is he has the quality of being a husband. Someone who can lead me, someone who can make me a better Muslimah. We're not together yet but he already had accomplished so much. Only Allah knows how thankful I am for having the chance to get to know him. Before that, here are some of the reasons why I like him:

• He's not really the full-religious type but he's pretty great. He taught me so much about it, things that I never imagined. He goes to the surau every day and that just turns me on.
• I kind of like it that he doesn't really talk to other girls. How short his replies to them etc. It kind of make me feel, special.
• Shy people is just too darn attractive to me.
• Despite the age, he can really be mature and childish at times. But that doesn't bother me, as long as he has his " serious " side.

Well that list could go on forever but I'm gonna stop. All I'm saying is he's really worth it.

It's a new beginning.

Picnik , I'll miss you ♥

So effing TIRED .

Today I went to school and the principles get mad with everyone that was absent on Saturday . She lectured us for almost 2 periods . Then I have the video to think of . I have to edit it , record people and everything in 2 days . Unfortunately my schedule this 2 days is full of tuition and test homeworks . But I still have to think of a way to finish it in 2 days . With some people that live far , they have to record it on their own and send me the vid . I have to make sure that everything is perfect by Wednesday night . Even on Tuesday I have tuition and I haven't even finished the homework . On Wednesday , I have curriculum . CAN'T YOU SEE HOW TIRED I AM ? And now , just because I replied your ex-best friend's tweet , you're getting mad like @#$%^&* THINK LOGISTICALLY . I only replied 2 tweets when you reply to that J girl every single time she tweet you . Oh my God , please . My mom just called me stupid because I texted her and she didn't check her text and fetch me at the wrong house . Even my sister called me stupid . Tolonglah , I penat gila nak mati hari ni . I don't have time to fight with you .

What love means to me .

If you think you’re in love, don’t get your hopes up. It’s not love until you go through both good & bad times together. If you love someone, you would know why you love them. If you have no reason, then think about it. Do you really love them? You would go through all these fights & break ups only to realize that there’s no point, because you’re always gonna get back together. You would spend time together, even if both of you are broke. Love isn’t about money; love is priceless. Love is something you could never buy; love is when one of you makes a huge mistake, but then in the end you work it all out because you realize that it’s just one mistake & it’s not worth it, because all you want is for it to be forever. But then, never say forever because everything has an ending. But that’s only in my opinion. Love is a strong word & has many definitions. Now, you decide.